In The Pool イン・ザ・プール

Dir: Satoshi Miki
Starring: Suzuki Matsuo, Odagiri Joe, Maiko
Year: 2005

Imagine a neurologist/psychiatrist who prescribes no medicine, makes fun of his patients and goes with them on some crazy adventures to get to the root of the problem - not because it might cure them but because it might 'be a laugh'.

That's Dr Irabu, Satoshi Miki's creation that is perfectly played by Suzuki Matsuo. The Doc's in his own world, not really caring about the needs of his patients but helping them and having fun all the same. Matsuo does the job really well, with a kind of sloppy ex-ganja smoking nature combined with a nice sense of comedy that has something very 1960's Britain about it.

Miki's films may lack a bit of substance, but they're entertaining and have some classic scenes and characters.

Top Work!

Maiko Haaaan!!!

Dir: Nobuo Mizuta
Starring: Abe Sadao
Year: 2007

Just take a look at that title and the cover. You know what to expect. It's glitzy, musical, vivacious and a little bit stupid. Which makes it both fun to watch and, ultimately, lacking in substance. Narry B felt some of the plot twists were in there for the sake of it.

Ignoring that, though, you have an excellent cast working their way through a magical visual feast. Abe Sadao is perfect as the maiko-obsessed Onizuka, a man who seems endlessly creative, industrious and powerful when it comes to anything even vaguely connected to the world of geisha.

Countering his every move, however, is someone who seems to know more and be better-connected than him in every way (Shinichi Tsutsumi). This guy outdoes him consistently. Maiko Haaan!!! is as much about their rivalry as it is about the traditional ways of the Gion and Yumekawa districts of Kyoto.

Abe is a good comedian, and carries off the over-the-top manga-esque mannerisms very well. Director Mizuta also pulls off the imaginative side of things without being pretentious. The rather spectacular (if a little camp) musical number, for example, that suddenly breaks into the film doesn't intrude at all.

Another mention to Kou Shibasaki for being tres cute (see Drive). I'm not sure whether to give this a 'good', or a 'top work'. I'll go with top work as it's nice, clean entertainment.

Top work!

Drive ドライブ

Dir: Hiroyuki Tanaka
Starring: Shinichi Tsutsumi, Kou Shibasaki, Ren Osugi, Susumu Terajima

First: apologies for not reviewing much lately. More than a week since the last posting, and even then it was a Smaltz post so it wasn't worth reading. I'll try to catch up with a few reviews because, people, I have some amazing films in the last week.

Second: Drive. What a film. I don't normally list the cast so completely, but this is made up entirely of modern cinema legends. Susumu Terajima is the man with the instantly recognisable face, and, for my money, the best actor in Japanese cinema right now.

Ren Osugi turns up in Drive as a bank robber with a broken heart, but you may also remember him from Zebraman as the school principal. Kou Shibasaki is both a pleasure to look at and a delight to watch. Hollywood never seems to find beautiful leading ladies who can actually act. In Japan they're all over the place. Kou would later turn up in Maiko Haan! (review coming soon).

Shinichi is a great central protagonist, too. He's a lonely, serious, hard-working salaryman, who happened to park his car in the wrong place at the wrong time. When three bank robbers mistake it for their getaway vehicle, the four dudes are left with no other option but to rely on each other.

What I love about this film is its humour and its message. Despite all of them being a bit lost at the beginning, each of the characters eventually finds their own calling, and accepts it with pride.
Everything is right about this film. Entertainment deluxe!

Top work!

Semi-Pro

Dir: Kent Alterman
Starring: Will Ferrell, Andre Benjamin

Oh, people, is this bad! How many more sports can Ferrell and his comedy buddies go through before they run out of ideas? Ah! I see they ran out of ideas ages ago.

Shock: it's another "kitsch" 70's setting about a failing team. Throw in some afros and a disco party, loose morals and a slack tongue, and you pretty much get the idea.

The few moments of brilliance, which there inevitably are, are dimmed by an otherwise awful script and obvious gags. Andre Benjamin (he's the guy from Outkast, as you all know) is a nice touch - the dude has a good sense of comedy timing and seems to be able to play basketball rather well.

How they got away with 12 (UK) rating I'll never know. Foul play!

Bad!

Roman Holiday

Dir: Wyllyam Wyler
Starring: Audrey Hepburn, Greg Peck
Year: 1953

I was expecting a sloppy, sweeping romantic drama from Roman Holiday. What I got was quite different.

Roman Holiday is actually about three people who have a great time together for one day in Rome. The characters and their relationships are built up in a very constructive way. If you didn't feel that the characters had become so close and so understanding of each others situation, the ending would be unsatisfying. As it stands, this was one of the best and most surprising endings I've seen since 1952.

The same can't be said for Notting Hill, which clearly based itself on Roman Holiday. The thing I hate about Notting Hill, apart from the cheerful ending, is... well... Julia Roberts, for one. Her character has no appeal and no class wahtsoever. Also, Notting Hill seems to think that the physical act of making love is the key point - the grand, orchestral strings kick in, like their night together defines the relationship. That's lust, not love.

Roman Holiday, on the other hand, gets it all right. The two characters just want to use each other at first, but eventually find there's a lot more to it. It defines everything good about being in love, having friends, and, er, being a princess.

Hazzah for Audrey Hepburn, humanitarian, modern beauty, and great actress. Hazzah for Rome, city of history, grandeur, and romance. Hazzah for the immpecable cast and powerful script. Again, hazzah!

Top work!

Three Men and a Baby (Smaltz Review)

Dir: Leonard Nimoy

Starring: Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg, Ted Danson, That Girl from So I Married an Axe Murderer

Ah eighties family films…don’t you just love them. They really don’t make them like they used to. This ticks just about every box, although it is perhaps a little bit more grown up than say Karate Kid or Mighty Ducks but you get the idea.

Here’s the premise: A cartoonist, an architect and an actor live in a big house enjoying there bachelor lives. Here’s the punch line, hunky actor Danson has fathered a child unknowingly and is filming abroad. His two friends wake up one morning to find a baby on their door step. They are of course completely inept and have no idea what to do with a baby, which generates most of the film's laughs.

To make things worse, when Danson comes home he has been asked to carry over a package which turns out to be drugs. This leads to some comic run-ins with the police, namely Tom Selleck hiding the packet in the babies nappy, and puts our protagonists in danger.

This is the films McGuffin as it creates a false ending. The real drama involves the baby mother coming back as she regrets giving up her baby.

It’s an enjoyable romp with Pi Selleck arguably stealing the film. It never gets too mushy and the real ending is quite tense and moving.

Good

Shakespeare in Love

Dir: John Madden
Starring: Joseph Fiennes, Ben Affleck, Judi Dench

I rarely get bored during films, mainly cos I'm quite selective about what I watch. How, then, did this slip past my radar and into my dvd tray? Narry B is furious.

I refuse to credit Gwyneth Paltrow on the 'starring' list cos she's so bad in this. It's hard to even hear what she's saying when she's reading Shakespeare. She just seems to read it fast with occasional long pauses, hoping it will go away. Bad form, Mrs. Martin, bad form.

Aside from that, I've never heard such contrived drivel pretending as 'love'. The dialog is hair-tearingly annoying when it comes to Shakespeare's and Viola's relationship. I also found the whole film overlong. It was after one hour that I was getting really bored, and so I checked, to my horror, that there was an entire hour still to go.

Now for the good things: Ben Affleck played the over-confident actor perfectly ("We will show you how we turn Genius... into Legend"), and even Prince-lookalike Joseph Fiennes pulled off a cheeky Shakespeare quite well. Geoffrey Rush, despite having some clunky lines, was likable as ever. In fact, the supporting cast was excellent (Judi Dench, Colin Firth etc).

On top of that, there were at least two laugh out loud moments - there should be far more for something that purports to be a comedy, but they're still worth mentioning.

Rating: Bad!

Turtles Are Surprisingly Fast Swimmers

Dir: Satoshi Miki
Starring: Ueno Juri
Year: 2005

This is the second Satoshi Miki that I've seen as I've been drifting off to sleep. I'm not sure if I dreamt half of it or if it was real. It's always hard to tell with Miki's films.

For example, the main character Suzume is bowled over by a cascade of apples in one scene, while in another scene her childhood sweetheart turns out to be wearing a wig, and in another scene she throws a turtle from the 7th floor of an apartment building only to catch it before it lands. It's the mix of the fantastic and the real that make Miki's films so fun.

Turtles has an interesting premise. An everyday person becomes a very normal spy. Her life barely changes when she enters the new profession. And that is its downfall too. The film kind of fizzles out without really taking you anywhere.

What it does have is an excellent ensemble of characters, chiefly the middle-aged couple who are the head spies. Plus, the colourful visual style and an eccentric sense of humour makes for an entertaining 90 mins.

Good!

Damejin

Dir: Satoshi Miki
Starring: Ryuta Sato, Mikako Ichikawa

The useless people. How I envy the homeless! Narry B wants to be homeless, at least for a day or two. To roam around, enjoy the sights... no work, no house, no responsibilities... eating cat. Yes, cat. At least, that's what nutbox director Satoshi Miki seems to think homeless people eat.

There's not much story or plot here, but it is 90 minutes of fun, and the bad guy gets shot at the end, so all's well that ends well.

Having said that, there are some poignant moments. NB particularly likes the idea of going to buy a mobile phone and coming back with a harmonica. 'A phone puts you in touch with people you don't want to meet', says the old boy selling harmonicas. 'A harmonica touches people's hearts'. Then he blows out some mad ass Jagger style harmonica. Rock and Roll!

No English subs on the DVD unfortunately, but dialog is minimal so its easy enough to piece together.

Top work!

Juno

Dir: Jason Reitman
Starring: Michael Cera, Ellen Page

I'm sure teenage girls love this film, but Narry B is not a teenage girl. Y'see, Juno talks in that 'witty' and 'clever' style of so many over-educated, over-confident young laydeez that makes you cringe when you hear it. She's trying way too hard.

That was NB's main gripe. The seoncd gripe was the 'oh-so-out there' music and pop culture references. I like manga! I like Iggy Pop! I like b-movies! Love meeee!

And my final gripe is that it seemed to stifle the comedy talents of Arrested Development's Michael Cera and Jason Bateman. I wanted to see more humour from them. Ol' J.K was really good as her father, though.

That aside, it's a well made, likable (for a certain teenage demograpic) movie. Plus, Juno and Michael Cera's relationship leaves us on a good note. And there are some funny moments, such as the dad asking what you can make with a Pilates machine.

Finally, Juno has a strong moral lesson: You can always give your baby up for adoption... Ech.

Rating: Average!

Groundhog Day

Dir: Harold Ramis
Starring: Bill Murray, Andy MacD

Narry B's not sure if its cool to like this film or not, but it is a modern classic.

It's funny without being stupid, interesting without being complicated, and romantic without being schmaltzy. And it has Bill Murray - a legend in the manner of John Barrymore, Geronimo or Joan of Arc.


Not having watched it for a long time, I thought it might have aged badly. Surprisingly, it hasn't (except for a few annoying yuppyish/early 90s cafe culture style references). It's a timeless film that I could watch everyday...

Final point of note goes to Andy MacDowell's hair. It's big! Man, those early 90s birds really knew how to grow a full head of hair. Narry B wishes Mrs. Narry B had that kind of hair, instead of her few remaining wiry ginger strands. A man can dream.

Rating: Genius!

Kenny

Dir: Clayton Jacobson
Starring: Shayne Jacobson, Eve von Bibra
Year: 2006

I'm not a big fan of allegory, but if NB were to interpret this film then Kenny would be some kind of religious figurehead, and urine and turds would be human society; namely, you and me.

Yes, Kenny is about as pure and decent as humans can hope to be. Eternally patient (until the whole 'poo in a car' incident), optimistic, and hard-working.

The fact that Kenny works hard with human waste makes no difference to him, although it does bother people around him, including his father, brother, and even his customers. The quality of Kenny's character shines through all that, and that's what makes him a modern hero in cinema.

Kenny takes toilet humour to the next level. It's hard to say if this is even toilet humour - it's more like toilet humour laughing at us.

Narry B has watched Kenny and The Castle in one week: if other Australian films are as good then Oz is the hidden gem of cinema (or is it all Home and Away: the TV Special after this?).

Mockumentary makers should take note: This is how to do it.

Rating: Top Work!

Borat

Dir: Larry Charles
Starring: Sacha Baron Cohen

Narry B knew the name Larry Charles was familiar when he saw the credits! It's the guy wrote Seinfeld (along with Larry D, and J Seinfeld, of course). I didn't know he was a director, though. Maybe he should stick to writing.

Actually, I thought Borat was really well directed. What let it down was trying too hard. It lost any realism. The naked hotel fight was totally unnecessary and didn't make NB smile. Borat's hometown wasn't very entertaining either. Too obvious. Same for the 'bear in a fridge'.

On the other hand, there are some moments of genius - table tennis with a midget, the rodeo scene was rather good, and the awkward dinner party. Perhaps the highlight was Borat's comedy class - it makes you cringe. I like to cringe.

The highs are high, and the lows are really low.

Rating: Good!

The Castle

Dir: Rob Sitch
Starring: Michael Caton, Eric Bana
Year: 1997

This is what movies are all about. Narry B likes to feel good, he likes to laugh, and he likes to think that the little man can still take on the big boys. The Castle ticks all the right boxes.

Amazingly, this film was made on a shoestring budget - I thought the cheapness of the image was intentional (it looks like a 1980's soap opera). But it wouldn't have mattered if it had no budget, cos the strength of the story and the characters is outstanding.

The main man is my boy Michael Caton who plays Daryl, the unceasingly optimistic dad of a family of rural Australians. Their home is near pylons, an airport's runway, and is built on dangerous materials, but they love it.

The Castle has a bizarre sense of humour - Eric Bana's eloquence being the highlight for moi. Plus it has some of the intentionally worst haircuts and worst trousers in cinema history.

Rating: Top Work!

A Delicious Way to Kill (Oishii Koroshikata)

Dir: Keralino Sandorovich
Starring: Okina Megumi, Inuyama Inuko

TV films have almost entirely negative connotations in my mind, so I was surprised at how good this Japanese TV drama/comedy was. It had laughs, suspense, and imagination.

Sandorovich is a pretty well-known director who has a quirky sense of style and humour. It carries through well in A Delicious Way to Kill.

A girl who can't keep a steady relationship has her awful cooking skills to blame, so she decides to enrol in a cooking class. Things soon turn nasty, though - cue some bizarre murders, and a rambling investigation by three incompetent women.

A Delicious Way starts off exceptionally well and on an original premise. It quickly leaves behind the girl's desire to cook well and becomes a more straightforward investigation story, however. And that's not all it leaves behind - it also leaves a bit of soul, originality and humour and carries on with a typical, albeit interesting murder inquiry.

There are some moments of comedy genius here (not withstanding the lifted from Woody desert scene), most notably the leading lady's 1980's big glasses. It's a bit overlong at 120 minutes, but it has a good pace and keeps you entertained.

Good!

Tropic Thunder

Dir: Ben Stiller
Starring: Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr.

Apparently this film was picketed by mentally handicapped groups because of it's repeated use of the word 'retard'. Thankfully, they didn't get their way cos the funniest thing in Tropic Thunder is the in-film 'Simple Jack' - I'm sure you can guess the rest.

So much was made of Tom Cruise in this film, but NB found him to be annoying, and his dialog to be meaningless. Much more impressive was his sidekick, a Jim Belushi look-a-like (Bill Hader) who delivered some of the funniest lines of the film.

Robert Downey Jr. was also truly excellent. I wasn't expecting much from him, but his role as a black army sergeant is flawless - even when he breaks down and becomes a white man again.

Jack Black feels rather out of character and a bit awkward. Considering he does over-the-top better than anyone else in the world, you have to wonder why they didn't just let him off his leash to go wild. Instead he's quite restrained, although the line 'My ass!' should deservedly go down in cinema history.

Tropic Thunder as a film could have been so much better. Considering Stiller's films are all about overblown, over-the-top stupidity (plus a bit of satire) it can't be that hard to make them. I never thought anyone could learn anything from the Naked Gun series, but Stiller could still pick up some tips from that series when it comes to doing stupidity well.

For all that, it is rather funny, and had Narry B kicking up his heels with laughter in a few places. It's just a bit incosistent - like Starsky and Hutch, Zoolander, etc. etc.

Rating: Good!

Billy Liar

Dir: John Schlesinger
Starring: Tom Courtenay, Julie Christie
Year: 1963

They say that you should always shave with the grain. Narry Borman sometimes shaves against the grain 'cos it feels strange and it's a bit different.

I love Billy Liar. It's a great film - a brilliant idea put into action in a supreme way. It's been probably 5 years since I last saw it, so I was worried that it might not be as good as I remembered. But it was just as good.

Billy Liar is perhaps cinema's original imaginative, discontented kid, living in a dream world and almost unable to face reality as it is (look at Science of Sleep for the most recent, most crappy example). Julie Christie plays his kindred spirit, but Billy's so far gone that he even let's her slip by (if Julie Christie asked Narry Borman to go to London with her, he'd give up his day job as a testing guinea pig immediately).

Admittedly, this film goes against the grain of my normal taste - it has a thoroughly depressing atmosphere, particularly in the last 30 minutes. But NB sympathizes with Liar's dream world and 'immaturity'.

You can't fault the acting (Courtenay is legendary, Christie is delicious, Pickles is on fire, and Rossiter is snide as a pig). You can't fault the script. You can't fault the direction.

Conclusion, Genius!

24 Hour Party People

Dir: Michael Winterybottom
Starring: Steve Coogan, Andy Serkis

Narry Borman doesn't like to compare things, but if you were to compare 24 Hour Party People with Spinal Tap, you would see how different British people and American people are.

24 Hour Party People is full of the nonsense, excess, cynicism, and enthusiasm that defined the Madchester era. It does an excellent job of telling a story about a music scene, without being pretentious or annoying.

What can you say? It's the story of Joy Division, The Happy Mondays etc. You know what to expect. Great soundtrack, nice script, well-made. The casting is excellent, and some familiar faces (Mark E Smith, Clint Boon) make cameos that although pointless do lend credence to the film.

Top Work!

Get Smart

Dir: Peter Segal
Starring: Steve Carrel, Anne Hathaway

I think every film should have a Bill Murray cameo. In this, he makes a quick entrance as an agent in a tree, but even in films like Dark Knight, or Pan's Labyrinth I think he should make cameos.

Anyway, that's besides the point. Get Smart is not going to shock you. It's a light, throwaway American comedy. Not the greatest of it's genre, but not the worst.

An incoherent plot about nuclear warheads is the premise for Steve Carrel to become a spy. Why are there so many of these fake spy films in recent times? Johnny English, I Spy, even Austin Powers...

Considering Get Smart had a budget of $80m, some of the effects are awful. Truly awful. Especially the doors leading into the headquarters. They look like my nephew drew them on a etch-a-sketch. The cast is quite good, though. Alan Arkin is a top man, and even The Rocks does a good job of comedy. Anne Hathaway is tasty, and Steve Carrel excels in a role slightly different to his usual typecast.

Some funny moments, but nothing to make you cough up your own liver. What would you expect from a film connected to Mel Brooks?

Rating: Good!

Hot Fuzz

Dir: Edgar Wright

Starring: Simon Pegg, Martin Freeman

Narry Borman loves British films, and wants to see them succeed. But this is no good.

Hot Fuzz is aimed at 8-10 year olds who can repeat the lines in the school playground, which is bizarre considering it's constant cultural references are to things 8-10 year olds wouldn't understand. Sure, it’s tongue in cheek, but it’s still not funny.

The supposedly hilarious gratuitous violence is just awful - I don't want to see that.

There is some top class in here, though, especially Timothy Dalton and Jim Broadbent. The whole thing should have been about Tim’s supermarket – that would have been funny. Everyone seems so eager to reel off the next British star, too… ooh look, there’s Dame Edna. How about some humour instead!

Average!