Coraline (Smaltz Review)

Dir: Henry Selick
Starring: Teri Hatcher, French and Saunders, Lovejoy

Coraline is the first cinema film seen in 3d at home. The DVD kindly includes both versions so when you don’t want mild sea sickness you can watch it in 2d (how 20^th century of you). The film itself has pedigree coming from the director of The Nightmare before Christmas and left me wondering what he has done between the two?

That aside Coraline (not Caroline) and her family have relocated and she’s not particularly happy about it, nor the fact that her parents are too busy to have time for her. Bored and inquisitive she finds the passage to an alternate life with her other mother and father. This is a world filled with everything she wants, her mother making sure everything is just right. When the time comes to offer her the chance to stay in this version of her world forever it becomes apparent how wrong it is.

Smaltzy Baby was surprised how good this was. I’d read the reviews and heard how like most animated films these days it’s dark and scary for adults too, but in this case it’s true. I found myself genuinely tense (dare I say scared) for our hero’s well being. The reason for this is that (like The Spiderwick Chronicles) it follows horror film conventions and is made by talented people.

The look of the film is wonderful, in fact moments of it are visually stunning. The story has a Studio Ghibli like feel to it as does its pacing. The cast is filled with eccentric characters and creatures, and there are 'nuff funny moments. The music is equally eclectic. The 3d works well enough to make it worth watching, and some scenes in particular really stand out. Honestly I can’t recommend this film enough. It’s charming but not quaintly so, definitely ideal for children but never childish.

Overall it’s very, very good indeed. Very.

Top Work!

Wolverine: X-Men Oranges (Smaltz Review)

Dir: Gavin 'in da' Hood

Starring: Hugh Jass, man! Will.I.Am

Part two of this Smaltz-review-a-thon is, in a way, the most intriguing. Not the film itself necessarily but the stories of studio interference, on set re-writes and it then being leaked at only 75% complete.

This, followed by very mixed reviews from cinema goers and comic book fans, left Smaltz a little unsure what to expect. The opening sequences of the film do little to rectify this. Flashy action sequences (though technically very good) do little to draw the viewer (namely, SMALTZ!) in.

Thankfully this is setup is to contrast with Logan’s desire for a quiet life which is filled with gorgeous Canadian scenery. Obviously this doesn’t last very long and soon he’s growling at his brother, his former commander and an oriental chap with guns.

Surprisingly the romantic interest that drives him to this is moving and handled well with Mr Jackman making sure you care what happens to him. In fact he carries the film on those burley shoulders very commendably and is undoubtedly the main reason to keep watching, he really does seem to care for this character and it shows.

The main complaint for comic book fans seems to be the interpretation of Deadpool and the many abilities he shouldn’t have. Smaltz knows nothing of this but has an interest in these sorts of films so it’s an interesting place to be watching from. The character certainly provides a menacing adversary but as with many super hero films there are a lot of characters that aren’t given enough screen time and he is one of them.

Another is fan favourite Gambit, it’s a good piece of casting but only for about 20 minutes screen time.

All in all Smaltz was pleasantly surprised. The film is quite tidy with spectacular stunts although some post-production effects are less convincing. The central character is as appealing as ever and it all just about puts everything in place for the original X-Men films, albeit in a sometimes contrived way. If you like the earlier films then this is worth a look although it does lack the weight that Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen brought to the series.

Good

Last King of Scotland (Smaltz Review)

Dir: Kevin Mcdonald
Starring: Forrest Whitaker, James McAvoy
Year: 2006

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this story it has nothing to do with the Highlands or Highlander (fortunately). This is a dramatised story of Idi Armin’s rule of Uganda, a man curiously obsessed with England’s northern cousin so as to name himself the Last King of Scotland.

Smaltzy don't waste no time: this is a tremendous film. Forrest Whitaker’s performance in the lead role is one that will be looked back on as classic for a long time.

The story follows Nicholas Garrigan, a naieve and fun-loving Scottish physician. The characters are so well judged and portrayed that we are drawn in by the charismatic Armin just as Nicholas is. He begins by accepting the role of his personal physician and is eventually called his closest advisor.

Each step closer to Amin is filled with tension until the horrendous acts committed under his rule are impossible to ignore. This first half is an exciting look at an exotic country of the brink of change but the second is pure political thriller.

The chilling turning point comes when Nicholas wants to get out only to find his house ram sacked and a new Ugandan passport waiting for him, effectively trapping him in the country.

There are some disturbing images but only occasionally as the filmmakers show great restraint which makes the whole thing more frightening. Be assured this film is top notch!

Smaltz-o-meter: Top Work

Titanic (Smaltz Review)

Dir: James Cameron

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Billy Zane

Never before has a film had so much hype, received so much praise from viewers and critics and then been the target of such a backlash. Its crime seemingly being that everyone was sick of the sight of it.

Smaltz hadn’t seen this film for a long time so it was a good opportunity to come back to it with a fresh pair of eyes… and it’s spectacular. However, unlike recent disaster films, the spectacle of the tragedy isn’t everything.This is a film of substance.

The story is one of class distinction in the early twentieth century with Kate Winslet trying to get out of an almost arranged marriage and escape the world she belongs to. It’s a young carefree American (DiCaprio) who shows her another way to live, much to the horror of her mother and fiancé (Zane).

This manages to be engrossing to the point that when the iceberg is spotted it still catches you by surprise.The last hour is spectacular, but not at the expense of the human drama. Indeed it shows how good a director Cameron is that the horror of the situation is not lost.

Scenes such as a mother in 3^rd class telling a story to her children as they sleep knowing they will never wake up and the string quartet realising they have nowhere to go so continue playing still make you shiver.

I’m going to stick my oar in dangerous water here by saying it manages to achieve the same level of scale with it’s story and tragedy as Kubrick's 2001 does with it’s visuals.

The quality throughout is superb with impeccable sets, an imaginative and effective score utilising synthetic choir sounds and despite some of the full scale shots of the ship in the first half not aging particularly well they do at least have a period painting look to them. Effects in the second half, however, are spot on!

Although Titanic leaves you with a feeling of loss for the main characters, the size of the real event is never lost.

Genius!

Michael Jackson's Moonwalker (Smaltz Review)

Dir: 4 Blokes
Starring: MJ
Year: 1988

I’m sure we were all shocked by his death but thankfully there is this little gem of bizarrity to remind us how popular Michael Jackson was around the globe. So big in fact as to have had (pretty much complete) control over a film and get it a mainstream release. To Smaltz’s mind this hadn’t been done since the Beatles Magical Mystery Tour flopped, and no one looks like being able to do it again any time soon.

I must be honest, when my darling wife Helga told me this was a corner stone of her childhood and it is brilliant I was somewhat skeptical. However when someone told me MJ turns into a car, I was sold.

There’s little point describing the plot suffice to say it’s a lot of fun featuring everything from plasticine rabbits riding a Harley-Davidson to Mr Jackson turning into a spaceship. The film is split into two parts. Part one is Anthology and is a compilation of music and fame including one amusing snipe at sensationalist press with the song ‘Stop dogging me around’, the video showing ridiculous headlines, ‘Jackson weds Alien’ being a favourite of Roger P Smaltz.

Part 2: Smooth Criminal is the cinematic side of things with Jackson and two children being chased by the evil Joe Pesci for no real reason. There are lots of Batman/Dick Tracey style shadows with nice cinematography and a great Smooth Criminal dance routine.

This film divides opinions but overall Smaltz was impressed and I suspect Narry would be too, and that ought to be good enough for you, plebs!

Good!

Rocky Balboa (Smaltz Review)

Lets layout some ground rules here. Firstly Smaltz doesn’t like boxing. Fighting with rules is still fighting. Secondly, I’ve seen only Rocky 2 (rather good) and 3 (why does everyone like this one so much?). Smaltz knows as much about Rocky as Borman knows about womenfolk.

So with this less than ideal starting point I dubiously sat down to watch Balboa. To my delight the film turns out to be well thought out and a sensitive look at a man with a broken life. He has lost his wife, and his son has become somewhat distant. He finds a purpose in running a local taverna. He also discovers a desire to fight again in small local competitions.

The turning point of the story sounds dubious; a computer simulation shows that Rocky in his prime would beat the current heavy weight champ. This is surprisingly well handled and sparks interest from the ‘champ's’ management.

This sets up Rocky’s last fight and boy the old man’s still got it…Stallone that is. His abs are more ripped than Borman's trousers and his shoulders are the size of Catherine’s wheel. The final is an epic and authentic struggle that is spectacularly edited, weaving flashbacks with a cleverly inserted black frame to show a brief loss of consciousness.

Yes there is the 'pounded chicken' line which I know is a personal favourite of Narry’s. To be fair this is how the yanks make TV. I mean, who else would use 80’s guitar rock as an accompaniment to golf? Besides Rocky has always thrived on a bit of cheese. Considering this is the ending it is very well judged and provides excellent closure to the series.

Maybe I am a Rocky fan after all.

Rating: Top Work!

V for Vendetta (Guest Review!)

Dir: James McTiegue

Starring: Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman, John Hurt

Hi I’m Roger Smaltz and welcome to my first guest review.

V for Vendetta tells the story of a terrorist refusing to accept the government's iron grip of society. Set in the near future, England is effectively under a dictatorship using the BTN (British Television Network) to convince everyone that things are better than ever. The story is based closely on a ten part series written by graphic novel supremo Alan Moore (Watchmen, Batman-The Killing Joke e.t.c.).

To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect but let’s make this clear: Smaltz likes good sci-fi and hates bad sci-fi. I’m also rather partial to a good superhero adventure since those halcyon days of my childhood watching Adam West in tights.

To my delight V is a brilliant, all be it subversive take on the super hero genre. Hugo Weaving is superb as V despite never seeing his face. He is helped by some wonderful dialogue and his own sense of playfulness such as air conducting the 1812 overture to the destruction of the old bailey.

The combination of music and image is Kubrick-esque, thanks especially to the minimalist but effective score.

Whatever your cinematic preference V should be seen - particularly by those who thought that the Wachowski’s would never recover from the poopingly awful Matrix Reloaded.

Thanks to Narry B for accommodating my horse.

Rating: Genius!

Look out for Narry Borman's review of V coming soon.