Once Upon A Time In China

Dir: Tsui Hark
Starring: Jet Li, Rosamund Kwan
Year: 1991

Narry B wasn't around when China was feeling the strain from foreign influence but fortunately Jet Li was there with his camera.

There's not much to say about this film. History, politics, romance, action, a guy being hit on the head with a pork joint; Once Upon a Time has it all. The only drawback is perhaps that it tries to do and say too much which takes away from Jet Li's stunning skills as an actor and acrobat.

Word up to director Tsui Hark who did an excellent job of recreating old China, and adding some artistic touches that would clearly inspire Crouching Tiger/Hero/The Medallion etc.

Considerably better than the sequels.

Top Work!

The Goonies

Dir: Richard Donner
Starring: Sean Astin, Josh Brolin, John Matuszak

Despite spawning 112 (and counting) made-for-tv clones, The Goonies is a children's favourite. Albeit that those children have now grown up and are in their 40's yet continue to dream of being in a 'gang'.

With Spielberg, Kennedy and Marshall on board (all Back to the Future staff) and Dick Donner behind the camera, it can’t really fail. It’s 114 minutes of entertainment.

Being made in the 80s, there are naturally some horrible cheesy moments (Sean Astin’s motivational speeches, and his weird, non-sensical love for one-eyed Willy). And the Goonies uses the words ‘you guys’ more than any other film. But there’s adventure, a few laughs, and Sloth to keep things moving.

Top Work!

Welcome to Dongmakgol

Dir: Kwang-Hyun Park
Starring: Hye-Jeong Kang, Jae-yeong Jong

Ah, how Narry B loves daft leading ladies. They come no dafter than Yeo-il in Welcome to Dongmakgol. A silly, lovely, airhead of a girl who prances around the valleys of Korea like they're her playground.

The story is quaint, too: During the Korean civil war, two groups of opposing soldiers stumble across a village deep in the mountains. The village is hundreds of years behind the times, unaware that there is even a war.

The naeivety of the villagers gives a chance for some wonderfully childish antics: singing, dancing, silly games, and traditional festivals.

Unfortunately, starring alongside the wonderful Yeo-il is a cliched white guy. I’ll never understand why there are so many awful western actors in asian films. They’re awful! Dongmakgol's wannabe-actor is Steve Taschler - he rivals Natalie Portman for woodenness.

Despite that, Dongmakgol has some magical moments, even if the war theme is a bit too strong and ends up detracting from the wonderment with its overbearing seriousness.

If you’ve ever wanted to see a wild boar being felled in slow motion, now's your chance.

Rating: Good!

V for Vendetta (Narry B's Review)

Dir: James McTiegue
Starring: Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman

After reading Smaltz's review of this 'modern classic' I was a bit 'McTiegued' (cockney rhyming for 'intrigued'). But it really was rather good!

At first you think, 'Hold on, this is just Batman!', but it quickly proves itself to be actually quite different. V is a fairly serious film, and makes a lot of salient points about the conflict of religion and politics.

The English setting was refreshing for a superhero film (of sorts), and generally it was pulled off quite well - I only cringed twice throughout the film. One was when they tried to be too English, the other cringe was for V and Portman's sloppy dialog when it came to their romance. That was truly dire.

V: "I... think... that..."
Ev "V, what is it?!"
V: "I... would you... join me for an egg on toast?"
Ev: "Oh! V!"

Forget about that, though, cos V is actually a storming film. As Smaltz pointed out, it has some nice eccentric touches, and the action is really well done, too.

Portman tries her best, but as she herself says in the "touching" scene where she tells us about her life story: 'I always wanted to act'. And we all want you to act as well, dear.

Rating: Top Work!

V for Vendetta (Guest Review!)

Dir: James McTiegue

Starring: Hugo Weaving, Natalie Portman, John Hurt

Hi I’m Roger Smaltz and welcome to my first guest review.

V for Vendetta tells the story of a terrorist refusing to accept the government's iron grip of society. Set in the near future, England is effectively under a dictatorship using the BTN (British Television Network) to convince everyone that things are better than ever. The story is based closely on a ten part series written by graphic novel supremo Alan Moore (Watchmen, Batman-The Killing Joke e.t.c.).

To be honest I wasn’t sure what to expect but let’s make this clear: Smaltz likes good sci-fi and hates bad sci-fi. I’m also rather partial to a good superhero adventure since those halcyon days of my childhood watching Adam West in tights.

To my delight V is a brilliant, all be it subversive take on the super hero genre. Hugo Weaving is superb as V despite never seeing his face. He is helped by some wonderful dialogue and his own sense of playfulness such as air conducting the 1812 overture to the destruction of the old bailey.

The combination of music and image is Kubrick-esque, thanks especially to the minimalist but effective score.

Whatever your cinematic preference V should be seen - particularly by those who thought that the Wachowski’s would never recover from the poopingly awful Matrix Reloaded.

Thanks to Narry B for accommodating my horse.

Rating: Genius!

Look out for Narry Borman's review of V coming soon.

M-1 2006

The 2005 edition of this annual comedy tournament in Japan was something of a classic. Black Mayonnaise ended up winning after narrowly beating the excellent Waraimeshi. The following year, Waraimeshi were back for revenge.

Tutorial, the duo from Kyoto, were on fire, though. I mean FIRE! They were stonking. After doing a skit about buying a refrigerator, which took something mundane and made it sound interesting, they really brought home the bacon with their final act about bicycle bells.

Another classic year for M-1. Watch!

Genius!

A Delicious Way to Kill (Oishii Koroshikata)

Dir: Keralino Sandorovich
Starring: Okina Megumi, Inuyama Inuko

TV films have almost entirely negative connotations in my mind, so I was surprised at how good this Japanese TV drama/comedy was. It had laughs, suspense, and imagination.

Sandorovich is a pretty well-known director who has a quirky sense of style and humour. It carries through well in A Delicious Way to Kill.

A girl who can't keep a steady relationship has her awful cooking skills to blame, so she decides to enrol in a cooking class. Things soon turn nasty, though - cue some bizarre murders, and a rambling investigation by three incompetent women.

A Delicious Way starts off exceptionally well and on an original premise. It quickly leaves behind the girl's desire to cook well and becomes a more straightforward investigation story, however. And that's not all it leaves behind - it also leaves a bit of soul, originality and humour and carries on with a typical, albeit interesting murder inquiry.

There are some moments of comedy genius here (not withstanding the lifted from Woody desert scene), most notably the leading lady's 1980's big glasses. It's a bit overlong at 120 minutes, but it has a good pace and keeps you entertained.

Good!